


in my life

by m_feys



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_feys/pseuds/m_feys
Summary: "It’s not too weird, is it? Dating a Doctor with a bit of Donna in ‘em? Just enough to make me a bit more fun, I think.”She sat up to look down at him properly because, clearly, they weren’t letting this topic go just yet. She didn’t even have to say a word for him to continue.“She’s the part that makes me human,” he admitted, more softly now.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor & Donna Noble | The DoctorDonna, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor & Donna Noble
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Braced on his chest, Rose traced kisses up his neck, nice and slow. It was at this point that he, for no apparent reason, decided to speak.

“You know, I do have a little bit of Donna Noble still in my head, she’s a part of this version of me,” he said it as casual as ever, in that fast-paced nonchalance he’d always had. As if they hadn’t currently been making out.

She froze drawing away enough to stare down at him incredulously. “You really have a knack for timing, you know that?”

“Sorry,” he winced, but of course he kept on talking, “just thinking. It’s not too weird, is it? Dating a Doctor with a bit of Donna in ‘em? Just enough to make me a bit more fun, I think.”

She sat up to look down at him properly because, clearly, they weren’t letting this topic go just yet. She didn’t even have to say a word for him to continue.

“She’s the part that makes me human,” he admitted, more softly now.

Her brows drew up, “the part that can make you stay here with me?” she wondered, matching his somber tone.

“Oh, Rose,” he spoke, pushing himself to sit up now too, “I always wanted to stay with you,” he admitted, lifting a hand to carefully brush across her cheek.

His eyes grew far away then. “But when I was the last timelord, I couldn't ever be stagnant, I couldn't ever stop being a part of the world. And I couldn’t ever stop running away.”

It was dead silent for a moment with only the sound of their quiet breathing, then he caught her eye again. “So, I suppose you’re right, then. I stayed with you because I’m part human.”

“You ever wish you were still out there in the stars?” She asked slyly, already knowing the answer. She shifted topics, hoping to lighten the air, heavy with emotion as it was.

“Oh, all the time,” he answered instantly, laughing, “and you?”

“Oh, me too,” she agreed, grinning along.

“You ever wonder if you were with him instead of me?” he asked, curiosity tinging his voice but the light in his eyes was fading just a bit, as they so often had in the past. “Would you be there if he’d let you?”

She hesitated, she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want to lie. “I… don’t know. ’S just that life, you know? There’s a reason we all went runnin' off with you,” she spoke, trying for a smile now, even while he stared at her as if she held the secrets of the universe and all he could do was observe.

“But… I know, deep down, somefin’ would happen and we’d get split again, just torn apart by circumstance. I… I wouldn’t trade this, not for all that,” she admitted, tears burning in her eyes now. “Not really.”

“Me neither,” he breathed. And it was quiet again for a moment as he shifted his eyes to focus on his hands, now twirling through the frayed edges of her blanket. “But I do wonder sometimes…” he trailed off, but she couldn’t have that, could she? Couldn't have this man who could speak and never run out of words just _stop talking_.

“What you wonder?” she prompted, and waited, knowing that would be all he needed, trusting he would give her more. This Doctor— this Doctor was _new_. Not in the way his regeneration had been at first. But this man, he was changed, he was more vulnerable than the other, or rather, he _let_ himself be more vulnerable than the other Doctor. Strange and good.

“I wonder, what if I was him instead and he were me. I wonder about Donna, she— she wasn’t meant to be the way I left her,” he broke off, eyes locked onto something distant she couldn’t see. “I… I would have had to have wiped her memory, to keep her mind intact. A human with the eyes of a timelord— well, I guess you know what that’s like,” he cut himself off, turning that lost look into a shallow laugh.

“Not really, I still only remember bits and pieces," she shrugged, watching him carefully. "So, she wouldn’t remember the Daleks and everyfin’?” she asked, voice low. “Doesn’t sound so bad,” she tacked on, trying to ease some of the tension.

“No, Rose,” he corrected, “I would have wiped her mind of everything to do with me. And if she remembered any of it, it would kill her.” He finished the explanation darkly. “The thought of me would literally kill her,” he added, the corners of his mouth turning up bitterly, it always seemed the universe did just _l_ _ove_ to play cruel jokes.

“ _Oh_ ,” was the only word she could sound, just a breath. Tears were shining in his eyes now.

“He had to leave her, and she probably fought so hard against it, she always did.” Tears were slipping down his cheeks now, but it was like he refused to let his expression change, just staring blankly at the wall.

“You mean when he… you— left us... he was going off alone? To have to throw 'er out?”

“She had a family! A mother, and a grandfather, he wasn’t leaving her _alone_ ,” the Doctor corrected desperately like he couldn’t bear the guilt of it. She had seen him set his jaw and do the same thing to her before, but now, on the other side, she got to see how broken up he was.

“I— I didn’t mean it like that,” she soothed, placing her hands on his chest once more, moving her hands beneath the half-buttoned dress shirt and feeling the single heartbeat underneath. So human, so strange. “I just mean… It’s awful,” she spoke, honestly.

He shut his eyes then, letting out a slow breath. Tear tracks were still shining on his cheeks. “She was my… his— his best friend,” he took another swallow of air like he might run out any moment. “Almost like a soulmate,” he choked out as if the words themselves were painful. “We were connected through space and time. It was like nothing would ever be able to tear us apart.”

She ran her hands up to his shoulders, across his neck to cup his face, wishing she could bear some that hurt with him or at least find a way to help heal the wounds.

“She said she would never leave me,” he said distantly, opening his eyes, lashes clinging with tears now. His gaze slowly drifting back to stare vacantly at Rose.

Rose took a shaky breath before leaning into him, pressing their foreheads together and brushing their noses. “She didn’t, did she?” she asked, tears blurring her eyes too now to match, “what’d you say? You’ve still got a bit ‘a Donna in your head?”

He took another breath, then she could feel his cheeks scrunch with a smile beneath her hands, “you’re right, Rose Tyler, you’re absolutely right!” He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her delightedly now.

She pulled back enough to smile down at him. “You might even be able to find her in this world,” Rose suggested boldly.

The Doctor’s eyes widened at that, looking comically shocked by the suggestion. “Oh, I don’t know about that. It’s different, she still won’t remember anything we did, won’t remember me. It won’t be the same. She’s not _my_ Donna,” he finished warily.

He was making excuses, she knew. He was scared, she understood. Most of all, he was probably afraid of tainting those memories he had with new ones, less precious ones. But there was a living version of the friend he loved out there who he could find, and she wasn’t just about to let him pass that second chance by. She knew what that was like.

“You’re not _my_ Doctor and yet here we are,” she answered with a coy smile, sliding her hands to his shoulders again.  
His nervous smile faded then, eyes softening as he did.

“Plus, this way, you don’ know her, she don’ know you. You’re on even ground,” she shrugged, letting him take her words in.

Then his eyes lit up, just the same as they always had when they were about to save the day, “Rose you’re absolutely brilliant!” he exclaimed, sitting up as he did and almost pushing her off her own bed in the process. “Sorry!” he threw the apology over his shoulder as he worked to button his shirt, quick as he could.

So they were going right now, she supposed. Moment officially over, she thought, with a wry grin. Not that she minded, not for this.

“Now mind you,” he started, she knew he was back to rambling again, which was always a good sign. “I don’t know about _this_ Donna, but you have to understand, out there, she was absolutely brilliant! She was brave, and noble as her namesake— Ha! There are people in distant galaxies singing her name! And _oh_ , Rose, she made me so much better. I mean, each and every one of you made me better, but with Donna we were... I don’t know, she made me into my best, we were like… a super team, the DoctorDonna. She said I needed someone to stop me and she always could.” He spoke, mouth moving at bullet speed.

“I _know_ , Doctor,” Rose cut in before he _really_ got going and she could barely get a word in edgewise. “I met her, remember?”

“Oh, I know you met her," he countered, voice edging closer to grief again, "but there was so much _more_ than that."

“Not only that,” she added, slipping off the bed and moving to stand in front of him now. “I saw her in that alternate timeline. She gave her life to save the universe."

He nodded slowly, his voice was affected as he went on, almost like reciting a poem, “she walked through time as if she was fording a harsh river, and her stride couldn’t be broken.”

“I know,” Rose agreed softly, because even if she didn't quite understand it the way he did, it was still crystal clear. She put her hand on his shoulders, wanting to be a steadying presence. Then, she glanced down to see his shirt buttoned one row wrong, hiking up strangely on one side.

“You buttoned your shirt wrong,” she pointed out, with amusement, tingeing her tone. But she was already moving her hands to fix it.

He jerked his head down to see as she did, “Oop, you’re right, got a bit excited, sorry.”

She smiled, biting her lip slightly as she did, “... and you and Donna,” she started hesitantly. She tried not to bother too much with being jealous after traveling across universes to find this man and getting him back. But she preferred to know, “you were never—” she tipped her head, not needing to say the word, she was almost sure, but she couldn't be certain, “like— you know, were you?” She asked, keeping her voice even.

His brows rose sharply, wrinkling his forehead, “Me and Donna? _No_. No, no, no,” he said quickly. “She made it _very_ clear she was not interested, I believe she once referred to me as a ‘long skinny string of nothing.'” he informed her, Rose could only giggle in return, Donna really was something.

“And as for me,” he went on, unnecessarily, "I really wasn’t in the sort of mindset— I mean, not that Donna isn’t a lovely woman, but I certainly wouldn’t—”

She cut off his rambling mercifully, patting his chest once as she did, “You’re certainly an acquired taste, Doctor.”

His mouth curled up into a slow smile like it always had when he was especially pleased with himself, “oh, and you’ve certainly acquired me.”

“And I’m not letting you go,” she spoke, running her tongue lightly over her teeth, and tugging him in by the belt loops to press firmly against her.

His eyes lit up as he grinned back, “I hope not! Now, let’s go see where Donna Noble is in this reality.”

“Well, Allons-y, my Doctor!” She exclaimed playfully, letting him go.

“That’s my line,” he grumbled down at her, but he was still smiling like a loon all the while, before he grabbed her hand and started to lead them off to a different sort of adventure.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a lot to hope for, just expecting that Donna might even be alive in this reality. But he couldn’t imagine her dying, she was _Donna_. Actually, he could imagine it, he just didn’t like to.

He didn’t look her up, he would rather find the news in seeing the sunken eyes of her mother or Wilfred, or in discovering their reoccupied house and asking the new tenants where the Noble’s had gone. It was far better that way, to have something tangible with it, rather than watching some blips disappearing from a screen, or a name with bold letters proclaiming, ‘ **deceased** ,’ beside it.

Blips and words were better if you were on the run, but he wasn’t anymore, couldn’t be, this was his life.

Wasn’t it so funny? The human he’d made himself into before had clawed and fought and screamed just to be given this sort of chance at life. And here he had it, right now, he would grow old and be loved and love in return. And would die someday, and it didn’t have to be painful. A human sort of life.

He hesitated again when they reach the door, he was so scared of simply seeing her. Wasn’t that strange? To be so nervous over mundane things and let the big stuff roll right off your shoulders. But Donna wasn’t ever mundane, was she? Not ever once.

They reached the door and he couldn’t even bear to glance at the mailbox and see if it had their name, and he didn't look in the window either, but that little blue car was still sitting out on their street, as faithful as ever.

He knocked. It was Sylvia who answered the door, her eye as critical as always.

“Hello, and who might you be?” She asked sharply.

His breath seemed to catch in his throat and he couldn’t make his brain work to answer, all he did instead was open and close his mouth like a dying fish.

Rose glanced at him sharply, then took pity, “we’re lookin' for a Donna Noble, she here?” She asked expertly.

The woman’s eyes narrowed, “I’ll go get her then, wait here please,” and shut the door on them as they waited.

Unfortunately, this gave Rose a chance to smirk up at him, ready to give hell as ever. “Oh my god, you’re so shy not even havin’ seen her yet!”

“I am not shy,” he denied defensively, and uselessly, as she continued to grin. He glanced at her quickly, tacking on, “it’s _Donna_. I’m… nervous,” he admitted reluctantly.

“It is Donna,” Rose agreed with a nod, her smile still beaming but now she was looking ahead of them.

The door opened again with a click, and to greet them this time was that familiar red hair, resting on her shoulders. Her long face and keen features bowling him over. He found that tears were springing to his eyes just from the sight of her, but he was quick to blink them away.

“Do I know you?” She asked, leaning a shoulder against the door frame.

He saw Rose glance at him again, out of the corner of her eye and when he didn't speak, when he wasn't able to, she took over for him. He'd always loved that about her.

“Hi, um, not really, I mean. Y-you’re Donna Noble?” Rose tried, as off-balance as he was. Well, maybe not quite as much, she still had her voice for one.

“One and only,” she confirmed, one delicate brow raising in impatience.

“Y—” he started to speak but it came out as more of a rasp, damn his dry throat, he cleared it and tried again, “you don’t know us yet,” he confirmed.

Her expression flattened with disapproval. “Well, you don’t look like salespeople, ‘cept maybe you, Mr. Suit. But neither of you have a briefcase and you’re not shovin' any papers at me, so no petitions. If you’ve come here to spout off about finding me God, I suggest you get to it before I slam the door in your face,” she ended the sentence sharply.

Rose could barely bite down her grin and the Doctor felt much the same, elated to see her in action again.

“No, no, not anyfin’ like that,” Rose corrected, quickly.

“We’re…” The Doctor started to try, “we’re sorry, but could we come in and talk?”

"We're talkin' right now," Donna pointed out, unwavering.

"What he means is—" Rose swooped in, instantly trying to recover the footing he'd just lost them, "we're not here to accost you or nothin', but we have sort of a strange story? You know 'bout the cybermen and the ghost stuff and the aliens?" She asked, voice lifting hopefully.

Donna's brows drew down as she frowned deeper. "You know, its bare minimum of manners to introduce yourself after you come bangin' on someone's door. And considering you _already_ know my name you might bother to give me yours."

He balked at the realization they had failed to give her such simple pieces of information such as their names. Beside him, Rose colored, she was also embarrassed to be so bluntly told of their mistake.

"Right!" She jumped to agree, always quick on her feet. "I'm, uh, Rose Tyler and this is the Doctor," she spoke, gesturing towards herself and him at her side in sequence.

He tried to smile at her in a way that might be well received.

"Doctor _what_?" Donna demanded loudly, eyes narrowed as she focused on him, emphasizing the, ' _what_ ,' with a decisive click of her teeth. 

He couldn't help beaming in delight, "you know, most people say, 'Doctor _who_?'" he mused grinning as he stared down at her, his best friend, in the flesh. "But then, you're not most people, are you, Donna Noble?"

Her face slackened in surprise at the earnest comment.

"It's just, 'the Doctor'," Rose interjected helpfully, "you get used to it," she shrugged, wrinkling her nose slightly as she spoke, it was adorable, he observed. 

Donna's eyes darted between them, before her brow furrowed once more, "why are you here?" Her voice was lower now, even and demanding an answer.

"Because, Donna Noble, you're my very best friend in another universe and I was sort of hoping we could start again," he told her frankly, all in a rush to get the words out there in the open.

She blinked up at him for a moment and the Doctor could almost feel the prickle of Donna staring up at him with no recognition in her eyes across the space of the void, with a different Doctor in a different universe. And it _hurt_.

Then, "ok, you can come in." Though the invitation was reluctant she still stepped back and held open the door for them.

Rose's mouth dropped open, "just like that?" She looked stunned and the Doctor never would understand the human propensity to inspect the mouth of every stray gift horse they received. Well, actually— he could— curiosity and all that.

"Not like I have anything better to do this afternoon," Donna answered shortly. "Plus," she admitted, "with all the stuff going 'round, your whole deal sounds pretty tame compared to some of it."

The Doctor just grinned at her ecstatically and strolled inside, hands stowed in his pockets as he took in the interior of the Noble house.

"C'mon," Donna directed them impatiently, gesturing them towards the sitting room. "I'll make you two kooks some tea."

And just like that, he was back in Donna's life.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos appreciated!!


End file.
